Holding that breath, I look down.I stare at the distant, fast-paced river below without really seeing it, aware of the sun on my skin and the birds in the trees, drowning in the white noise of laughing families.An ecosystem that isn’t my own.The weight inside me is so hefty it not only exists uninvited, but demands payment for its presence. The cost is everything. My senses are hypersensitive, never more sharp -- heart never more dull.I feel more than hear him stop behind me.“Hey.”I don’t turn. He doesn’t move. His presence jolts my soul back into myself, the ringing in my ears a little less pressing. I try not to focus on him, hoping he’ll leave. A moment turns into a minute, and when he finally does unpause, he comes to my side. Eyes on the canyon, I see a pair of legs sweep over the side of the bridge beside me. Beside those legs are a pair of fuzzy feet. I glance up.The eyes of this stranger are so deep I fall in. Staring at me thoughtfully, his brown hair rustles in the summer. Just make sure he treats you as the queen you are, got it?" Alan asked."Yes," I giggled, gently hitting his shoulder. "I wouldn't give John a second thought if I didn't think he would treat me that well. He thinks I'm beautiful and seems to want to take things to the next level, but I certainly want him to get along with you two as well. So, I really want to make sure you two are on board if things progress that far. I would think he's having the same talk with his kids. If you have anything to say, then let it out now. Anything at all, there will be no judgments here. I'm your mom, you two are my sons, and my number one job is to make sure we love each other the most we can. Speaks your hearts and souls," I implored them, moving my head back and forth between them.They glanced at each other again and came back to me. They both just enveloped their arms around me again, and we had another group hug. "I do love you two more than life itself, so I hope you two always come to me with.
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